Grey Angel by Dani Finn

Geller attacks have been on the rise recently and with people and livestock at risk Ysin sets out on a mission with Guin to catch and kill a particularly clever Geller. Within days of riding out though they are attacked by a pair of gellers, who seem to be far smarter than any other gellers they've across, actually ambushing Ysin, causing a wound that if not treated soon will most likely kill her. Ysin is dedicated to her mission though and Guin is dedicated to their Mena, so against their better judgment Guin follows Ysin, to the base of a mountain. It is now though that Guin, an Angelite begins having nightly visions of the Grey Angel, a beautiful and sad creature who has said to give those she visits any wish they desire. Guin knows if they continue their journey they will meet The Grey Angel and they may finally get their wish, but they also know that this may kill their Mena the one woman they respect above all others. 

I loved this! Finn has taken the adventure fantasy trope of self-discovery and intertwined it was multiple aspects of being transgender. And it's going to be really hard to review this without giving a ton away but I'm going to try. 

Both Guin and Ysin represent two topics of being transgender, the one talked about in novels far more than the other but I don't think as much as it should be. Guin says multiple times throughout the book that they don't feel that they are "good enough" to be a woman and I've heard that many times before from both transmen and women. However, I've heard this just as often from straight cisgender humans. Thanks to our societal "norms" at some point, someone will make you feel like you're not "feminine enough" or you aren't "masculine enough", it is simply unavoidable. It is a pain point that is understandable regardless of whether you are cis, trans, nonbinary, etc, and while it may not have been Finn's intention it is a wonderful way to demonstrate how much we all have in common when it comes to our insecurities in our gender, whether we align with our birth gender* or not. 

The other is the wanting to procreate. I have a very dear friend whom I love to the moon and back and the amount of times I have held them while they cried because they would never be able to give birth is devastating. As a mother of four, who actually loathed pregnancy and giving birth, and Im not even a big fan of babies for that matter, I can only barely scratch the surface of understanding how a transwoman, who knows in her soul she was meant to give birth, to be a mother, must feel. It is heartbreaking and maddening that instead of figuring out how to make this happen for these women we are persecuting them. And yes I am aware there are options like adoption, I am again a mom, I promise you it is and is not the same. 

Alright now that the serious parts are done!

I loved Guin and Ysin to pieces!!! I love this world that is a Queendom who takes care of her people. *All* of them. I loved that everyone knew that Guin was a girl, that it was odd to consider her anything but a girl, I love that Ysin was so wonderfully patient. And yes of course I loved the Angel. And given how this ends I'm hoping there's going to be a book two!! 

Of course, I recommend this! And honestly given Guin's insecurities I feel like this is a perfect starter read for those first breaking into transgender reading. Like I said earlier her insecurities are universal allowing her easily relatable.